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Monday, January 10, 2011

for the blog

I think that in a few ways my kids got lucky because I managed to see the falacy of MDC before they were born. But my life might have been different if I hadn't found the craziness there. I wouldn't have spent so long depressed, that's for sure.

I found MDC when I first started TTC. There was a lot of information there and I made the decision to stick around. There were lots of women to talk with and posts were answered quickly, usually from several people. Where else could you get so much information? I started out in a thread with lots of other women who were in my position - waiting to see what the pregnancy test would show. After three months, I started to wonder what the deal was. I wasn't having regular cycles. But MDC insisted all was fine. Try this tea. Try this herb. Try taking your temperature to see when you ovulate. Above all, avoid the doctor, because they'll harp on about 28 day cycles and not listen to you. I tried it all. And still nothing. In 6 months I had had 4 periods, each cycle lasting nearly 45 days. Normal! was the cry at MDC. Some women just have really long cycles. If there's a temperature shift then you're ovulating and all will be fine. Meanwhile, I was a disaster emotionally. Most of the women I had started off with in the TTC threads had moved on to pregnancy. Here I sat, with a mostly new group of women. It's normal, was all I heard. About 8 months into this adventure was when I finally gave up the herbs and teas and saw an OB who listened to me (despite the MDC battle cry) and immediately suggested that something was wrong and started going through a few tests to see if she could regulate my menstrual cycle. It took a long time for me to conceive and not without a good bit of help. But after 17 months of trying, I was pregnant.

Sadly, the pregnancy would ultimately be ended because of MDC. Despite my experience in the TTC forums, I continued drinking koolaid. My body could do this (it couldn't get pregnant, but it would be all set with pregnany, right?). I found out I was carrying twins and things seemed to be going well. I liked my OB despite the MDC assertion that OB's were evil and homebirth with a midwife was the only way to go. I couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was wrong. As I got further along in my pregnancy, I would have wierd pains. At 15 weeks, MDC assured me that it was all normal. Round ligament pain, they said it was and that I would be fine. So at 20 weeks when I had yet another bout of these pains, I tried to ignore it, tell myself that all was good. In reality my brain was screaming at me that I was being an idiot. But I had MDC behind me. But when the pain hadn't eased up by the next morning, I decided to go see the OB. It was way too late though. I had been in labor all night, and was nearly totally effaced. My babies were born that night, 4 months to soon, far to little for the NICU team to help.

After that I was done with MDC. I spent time in the forum for moms who had lost babies and did get pregnant again (twice, actually!) with medicine and care from an RE. And although both of my babies came early, I paid much more attention to my doctors. I, apparently, am not a functioning woman because my body doesn't birth babies right. MDC would tell you so. I have been damaged (it was probably the vaccines... ). But I disagree now. There is a place for doctors. They do listen to you, if you don't walk into their office with an attitude. And they will help, to the best of their ability. They don't want to lose babies either.

1 comment:

  1. I know this is an old post, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of your twins. I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and it was devastating and even though I have a baby now, I still mourn that loss. I am glad that you were able to see thru the anti-med rhetoric of MDC and seek appropriate help and care for your subsequent prenancies.